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Good morning and Happy New Year to all...
I thought I might share a small part of a chapter I'm writing as part of a book entitled "237 things Millennial's should know, but don't" to see if anyone has any input to make it better. Please share whatever advice you have or message me any experiences you think will help me write a better list.
Thank you, Kyle
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The Art of Showering
It has been brought to my attention by several parents, doctors and coaches that most young people (mostly young men) do not in fact know how to shower. Scratch that, they know how to shower, but they don't know how to get themselves clean. They know how to get into a shower and turn the water on, but they do NOT in fact know what to do once the water is flowing.
Here are 12 easy steps to showering:
Step 1: Know the goal. The goal of every shower is to have soap touch every part of your body at least once. Some of the stinkier places (pits, cracks and feet) will require more attention. In most cases showering is to get the stink (dead skin and sweat) off. In other cases a shower may require you to scrub dirt or grime off of your body. Know the goal before you head into the shower, be prepared!
Step 2: Prepare to take a shower. When you go to take a shower, make sure there's a clean towel, washcloth, soap and shampoo before you turn it on. Some people even brush their teeth in the shower, so make sure you include your mouthwash and toothbrush if you are one of those people.
Step 3: Turn the water on and warm it up. No one likes a cold shower, make sure it’s set to your preference and note the location of the dial so you can set it there the next time you shower. Once it’s warm enough, get in!
Step 4: Put in mouthwash or pre-rinse. This will enable you to swirl the fluid through your mouth and teeth while you shower. You will spit it out in the middle or end of your shower and begin to brush your teeth, but it's more efficient if you apply it to your teeth now and swirl while you proceed through the next steps. No one wants to stand there wasting time swirling fluid through their teeth later, plus it's a waste of water (for your environmentally conscious bathers).
Step 5: Start at the top. Wet your hair, then take out the shampoo, pour a little in your hand and put it in your hair. The amount of shampoo you need is relative to the amount of hair you have on your head. If you prefer you can take some of the foam from your hair and wash your face before you rinse your hair and face thoroughly. Some people prefer using shampoo on their faces because soap dries it out.
Step 6: Soap-Time. Grab the soap, take it, put it on every surface of your body that you can touch. Pits, chest, shoulders, neck, back (best you can), downstairs, front-door, backdoor, basement, legs and feet. Do yourself a favor and rinse the soap periodically so you're not just moving dirt from one area to another.
Step 7: Rinse entire body.
Step 8: Clean the pipes. This one may surprise you, fold your hands around your nose and blow your nose into your hands. That’s right, blow your nose in the shower! At this point you’ve been in the shower for a bit and the steam from the shower has probably opened up your nasal passages, there is no better time to blow your nose. Sure it’s a little gross, but you can quickly rinse your hands with the water from the shower. If it’s a little too gross to have buggers in your hands for 0.6 seconds you may apply the one-finger over one nostril snot rocket technique. You cover one nostril, blow hard and shoot snot from the other opening out onto the floor of the shower. Once one side is clear, repeat on the other until it is clear. Please note, at the end of the shower make sure all the snot goes down the drain, no one needs to step on your snot corpses when they shower after you!
Step 9: Washcloth for the stinky parts. Take the aforementioned soap and put it into the washcloth, lather up the washcloth and scrub the stinky parts of your body. Get a little soap in and around your ears, up into your armpits, get your downstairs, all the doors and rooms and then the feet. These areas are the ones that tend to stink the most and need the most additional attention. Scrubbing these areas vigorously now will reduced rashes, fungus, skin tags later in life and make you smell better (like) immediately.
Step 10: Rinse everything, everywhere. Let the shower thoroughly rinse your entire body, get all of the soap off and the final remnants of stink will go right down the drain. Make sure the water hits every area of your body directly. Start at the top, re-rinse your hair, rinse your ears and hit everything on the way down to your feet, front and back. You may need to move parts of your body to insure the water hits another part of your body, do so to insure everything gets rinsed clean. No one wants to get out of the shower with soap in an area covered by another body part (use your imagination).
Step 11: Time to clean the chompers. Spit out your mouthwash, grab your toothbrush and toothpaste. Apply the toothpaste to the brush and brush your teeth (again, thoroughly). Brush the tops and bottoms, fronts and backs, right side and left. Spit out the foam and repeat top, bottoms, left and right. Rinse out your mouth. Why brush your teeth in the shower? I won't go into detail, but let's just say your toothbrush is safer and cleaner when it's stored in your shower and not beside your sink. Onto the next step before you think about it too long. Also this gives you more time to rinse in the shower!
Step 12 (optional*): Repeat steps 5-9.
Step 13: Turn off water, self squeegee the excess water off your body with your hands, step out of the shower safely and apply towel to dry.
Once outside the shower wrap the towel around yourself, look in the mirror and start your beautification regiment!
Important Notes:
I have nothing against taking a bath or people who take baths, some of my best friends take baths. I’m just saying you will find out later in life you don’t always have time to take a bath and showering is more appropriate.
When working with soap and washcloth it is advisable to clean the entire body before cleaning your back-door and basement areas, never in the opposite order. Cleaning one's face directly after cleaning between your cheeks is completely unacceptable (use your brain).
A rhyme about washing your feet... Wash between your toes, because that's where the fungus grows!
*When I say optional, I mean NOT-optional. If you are virtually clean then there may not be a need for repeating, but if you have broken a sweat, you smell or it’s been awhile you are dirty and should repeat… Please, for the Love of God, repeat!
